Hugs....

It's early morning. I'm in my bedroom, in my house back in NY. I hear Austin walking up the stairs and think, "I need to go say hi." I walk up the first 5 steps, catching up to him. I say, "Hey" and give him a hug. He returns the squeeze, giving me one of his famous hugs. I smell his shirt, wondering if it's going to smell like it used to - like the degreaser and grease (from working on cars and projects), combined with his deodorant. It doesn't. There is only a very faint scent of fresh air. I'm a little disappointed. I always hated that degreaser/grease/deodorant smell, but now I miss it.

We continue to walk up the stairs, his long arm draped over my shoulder, my arm around his waist. It's natural, comfortable, real. I ask him, "So, what's on your agenda today." To which he replies, "Not much. I need to stop by the pizza place, but that's about it." I chuckle, because the "pizza place" was like another home to him.

I give him a side squeeze and tell him, "I wish you could stay. I sure miss you."

He smiles, replying, "I know, but I only have a couple days. I love you."

"I know."

My eyes open. It's 5am. Austin's 24th birthday and he's just given me a gift.

Happy Birthday Austin! Thank you for visiting me this morning. It makes it seem as though is was just a couple hours ago that I hugged you, not 2-1/2 years. Which lets me know that you are always with me... in my heart...in my memories.... wherever I go.

I love you, Bud!