Sunday, December 11, 2016


"Be proud of your scars, they made you who you are!" 

The other day I overheard someone comment how they were tired of hearing people say "time will heal" after the loss of someone close. I did not comment, but in my head I thought, "But I am healing." If I look at where I was six-and-a-half years ago compared to today, I have to say I am healing. My heart does not hurt the same way it did six years ago, three years ago, or even a year ago. That's not to say I don't miss Austin, or that I don't cry, or that my heart never hurts - it's just the pain is less and less every day - my heart is healing. I decided to look up the definition...

Healing (noun): is the process of making or becoming sound or healthy again
Heal (verb): tending to heal; therapeutic

And there it was - I am healing. I am "in the process of making or becoming sound again. I then looked up the definitions of the synonyms of heal / healing. 

Synonyms of Healing:

alleviatemake (suffering, deficiency, or a problem) less severe
easemake (something unpleasant, painful, or intense) less serious or severe
assuage: make (an unpleasant feeling) less intense
palliate: make (a disease or its symptoms) less severe or unpleasant without removing the cause:
relieve: cause (pain, distress, or difficulty) to become less severe or serious
lessen: make or become less; diminish
mitigate: make less sever, serious, or painful
attenuate: reduce the force, effect, or value of
allay: relieve or alleviate (pain or hunger)

I Am Healing:

As I read each definition I kept reiterating, "Yep, I've been healing."

To some, this may be offensive - "How dare I say you can heal from loss." I am not saying anyone has to, what I am saying is that I am. The idea of living with excruciating pain and sorrow the rest of my life, like what I experienced the first couple of years, is unthinkable. Sometimes life sucks - it really does, but then little-by-little it begins to get better, and before you know it your smiling and finding that joy you never thought you'd find again.

And You Can Too:

I spoke with someone the other day, who is in the first year of losing a child. One question they asked, earnestly, was "Please tell me this will get better, it does, doesn't it? Because this pain is unbearable!" Without hesitating I said, "Yes, it will. You will always miss your child. There will always be a hole that cannot be filled, but you will feel more than pain again. You must go through the pain first, but you will be able to truly laugh again."

The scar will always be there - but I believe that...
Scars are signs that we were hurt, but we have healed (or are healing) - it won't happen over night, but it will happen, if we allow it. There's no dodging the pain - we have to go through it to get to the other side. But we can get to the other side. I know, I have. 

What are your thoughts on this...can people heal from the loss of a loved one? I would love to hear what you think!