Friday, February 4, 2011

One of Those Memory Triggers

Oops - there it goes again...
But this time it's both an "Everyday" and a "Sneaky" one...

Construction Work...  Considering how construction was Austin's last job, he had excelled in the Electrical Trade program in high school, and he was always doing at least one small electrical job for us, whenever he came to visit - I am never surprised that, when I see a construction crew, a thought of Austin is triggered.

Today's Surprise... Today, I am surprised by the sadness I feel, as I watch workers coming in and out of my house, working on the very small addition we are doing to our downstairs bathroom - basically bumping into the garage to add a large handicap shower. I feel as though Austin should be here walking through the house - laughing and working along side the crew. Afterall, a couple of the outlets they're moving are ones he installed. It's as if any second, I will see his handsome face and charming smile pop out the bathroom door to ask a question. While my mind imagines Austin as "one of the guys" and replays images of him working on those outlets only a year ago, my throat gets tight, tears flow, and I'm reminded how much I miss him... how much I'll always miss him.

"Suddenly here he is again. The chain of suggestion can begin almost anywhere: a phrase heard in a lecture, an unpainted board on a house, a lamp-pole, a stone. From such innocuous things my imagination winds its sure way to my wound. Everything is charged with the potential of a reminder. There's no forgetting." - Lament for a Son, by Nicholas Wolterstorff

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