I am a big checker. As I finish a task, there is some odd pleasure I receive from checking it off my "to-do" list. Done. Complete. One more thing out of the way.
I have a confession to make, though. I love making "to-do" lists, but rarely follow them completely. Within an hour of making my list I'm usually detouring from it. But isn't that how life is? We know what we want to do, but then life happens and we must "recalculate".
Last Friday, June 24, 2011 was the one year mark of Austin's accident. One year. We made it. It's done. Check! On to the next...
Ohhh, but If only it were that easy. If only I could say, "There. Got through the year; a year of roller coaster emotions. Dealt with my feelings. Grieved. Now check it off my list. And let's move on!" But it's not that easy. The roller coaster will continue - but it will be a different ride. Not sure what it will be like. Some days may be bumpy, slow, loop-to-loop, "can't wait for the ride to be done", or even "let's do this day again, it was a good one". I won't know until the day arrives. But one thing I do know, is that there will be others on the ride with me, experiencing it the same, yet differently. And just like last year brought tears and laughter, I know this year will do the same.
This ride I can't "check off" my list - it was never on it in the first place. So I guess I will just hang on and see where it takes me. After all, life is a highway! Join me, as I travel the journey life...
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