Saturday, November 12, 2011

Never Ceases to Amaze Me...

Leaning back in my seat, hearing the engines rev, slowly moving forward, then picking up speed, moving faster and faster, and then we're in the air, the ground is far below us.... Unbelievable!

It doesn't matter how many times I fly, I am always amazed at take off, when the plane's nose tips up, the front wheels lift off the ground and before you know it the entire plane is up, up and away, and we're above the clouds. This week I experienced four take-offs, and every time I thought the same thing, "It is absolutely incredible that this huge 'thing' can fly up in the clouds!" (No physical science / engineering explanations please. I know there is an explanation for how this works, but I'm still blown away!)

This week, my thoughts progressed to how amazing the human body is. Earlier in the week, a family I only know in passing, said good-bye to their teen daughter. When I received the call from a friend, telling me the news, memories from 16 1/2 months came to the forefront of my mind.  Since I heard the news thoughts of the grieving family popped in and out of my mind and what they were going through. I couldn't help but think back  to the day we received the news of Austin's accident and passing, and of the days leading up to and including the calling hours and funeral. And once again, I was amazed... amazed at how the human body and mind heals.

As I reflected back to June 24, 2010 I remembered the unbearable, physical pain I felt that devastating day and the days to follow. I now understand where the term "broken heart" came from, because it truly feels as though your heart has been literally broken, not just in half, but in a million pieces and it is excruciating. I have never felt such tremendous pain in my chest and whole being.

Then, my thoughts drifted to now, November 2011. That raw pain is no longer there. A hole, yes. A dull (sometimes stronger) aching, yes. Those exist, but they're not the intense, unbearable pain that accompanied me the days immediately following Austin's death. That pain slowly changed throughout the days, weeks, months, and now year that followed, and has evolved into something manageable and definately survivable. I realize that even as I run the events of that day through my mind, I can remember hurting in a way I never had before, but I do not actually, physically feel it. And I am again in awe of how the human body is made to heal and to protect itself. Because it would not be possible to live with that type of pain forever, our body protects us and our mind eases and replaces the crushing pain and sadness with memories...

...beautiful memories... of a young man who brought joy and laughter to so many... of a wonderful son who's love for life and people never ceases to amaze me!

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